Friday, March 07, 2003

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dodgy sixties sci-fi novel.

Some mornings I wake up and feel like I'm in an episode of Quantum Leap.
Does that ever happen to you? It's kind of like reverse Deja Vu... When something seems new and unfamiliar, even though it's not. It happens a lot with words. Like when you think 'is that really how you spell "fence"'? You can sit and stare at the page for ten minutes and it still looks odd.
It's really disorientating when the suddenly-unfamiliar thing is your life. It mostly happens to me first thing in the morning.

It reminds me of one night, when I was 18 and larging it in Ibiza. I went to the bathroom and saw my reflection in a large mirror on the wall. 'Wow', I thought, 'That's David Baillie - I know him'.

I just got it a second ago. Sitting here in the same seat I've sat in for four months now during office hours, at the same desk, with pretty much the same people. Listening to Sparklehorse on my MD player (which could well have contributed to my state of confusion).
All of sudden I thought, 'Wow, I'm David Baillie. I know that guy'. I turned off the music and looked out of the window. I listened to the sound of keyboards clacking around me as everyone continued with their comfortable, familiar existence and lost focus on my life for a few moments. In those moments everything felt new. Just like the guy from Quantum Leap - when he jumps into a new body and has to live a bit of someone else's life.

It makes me wonder if we're all just jumping around into each other's bodies. Living a fraction of each other's lives, like a mixed starter platter. Just for the variety of it.
Deja Vu. I've done this before - haven't I?

It must just be me then.

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