The Baillie Bugle

Genuine conversation I've just had with a phone monkey...
(Apologies to the phone monkey – it’s not his fault this wasn’t covered in the training)


PhoneMonkey:
Hi there Mister Baillie just phoning to ask - why did you cancel your flight
to Uganda?

Me:
I didn't.

PhoneMonkey:
You didn't?

Me:
No - I didn't book it either.

PhoneMonkey:
Oh yes - it was your friend Jane wasn't it?

Me:
No. Neither of us has booked a flight to Uganda.

PhoneMonkey:
But she booked a flight to Australia for you didn't she?

Me:
No. My mobile wasn't working at the time I booked that flight so I gave you her number instead in case of emergency.

PhoneMonkey:
What about the flight to Thailand - did she book that?

Me:
No - that was another leg of the same flight. I booked that.

PhoneMonkey:
And this was last year?

Me:
Yes.

PhoneMonkey:
And you flew to Uganda too?

Me:
No. Australia, New Zealand, the US and Thailand.

PhoneMonkey:
But you're flying to Uganda this year?

Me:
No.

PhoneMonkey:
But you booked a second flight to Uganda after cancelling the first one?

Me:
No.

PhoneMonkey:
No?

Me:
No. It wasn't me. I haven't booked one, two or many flights to Uganda. I don't think I'll ever book a flight to Uganda in fact.

PhoneMonkey:
So who did?

Me:
That's a very good question. When you find out will you give me a call?

PhoneMonkey:
On Jane's number?

Me:
No please - use mine. And in the meantime if it looks like I'm booking anymore flights to Uganda...

PhoneMonkey:
Yes?

Me:
It's not me, please ignore.


sfx:
click.